Built By Ableism, Defamation and Harassment: How I Discovered a Lucrative SW Niche

Who knew that the predatory SW who's been defaming, maliciously harassing, and systematically engaging in ableism for two years would cause me to consider ending it all? Anyone could have guessed that. People end their lives because of cyberstalking, doxxing, defamation, and SWers especially don't do well after being outed to people IRL.

What you couldn't have known is that this traumatic series of events would lead me to discovering a very lucrative SW niche.

I know, I know: You're thinking, "A 25 minute blog post?"

Trust me, oh ye of low attention span (calling myself out here), this blog is juicy and informative.

In honor of World Mental Health Day, I'm doing something I really, really don't want to do but feel is necessary in order to tell my story and possibly help others feel less alone, and, if they're a SW, increase their income. Every SW friend has advised me not to write this because, let's face it, it's anti-marketing. I will be spreading this bigot's legitimately pathological lies/defamation and ableism around the internet and folks tend to believe whatever they read online, especially if the person has a few followers and yet, I don't care. I have enough established admirers to freely speak my mind.

But where does the SW niche enter the picture? Everyone in the SW world is aware that hot, strong, oiled up (j/k but that would be awesome) femmes "wrestling" men is a thing. The caricature of a strong woman subverts gender norms and anything subversive is hot and provocative to folks. This is the key to modern SW marketing, at least for me: Get weird with it.

"Get authentic-ish with your SW persona!" is the unsolicited advice I preach via my Sexy Worker Sermon on the Mountain of Latex Garter Belts blog posts. We shouldn't get too authentic, however, or we threaten to break the fantasy image admirers seek.

This SW niche that the God/dess led me to wasn't merely a sensual wrestling niche. Yes, that's part of it, but I happen to (accidentally) fit into a very specific niche that few providers, FSSW or domme, are aware of and, as usual, I have to let ya'll know about it.

This blog is part SW marketing info, part reclamation of my narrative, and part advocacy for those of us with disabilities and health conditions. Cyberstalking, defamation, and slander victims are advised to shut up and ignore their abusers (and it is abuse) because, it's true, giving their false narratives attention only gives said narratives power and prompts abusers to engage in more defamatory speech.

Despite this, I feel as though SWers and those who admire us should be aware that they're following and supporting a dangerous bigot who continues to violate Tryst's code of conduct (targeted harassment, targeted discrimination/ableism, bullying) without repercussion because not enough folks know how dangerous she is due to her victims staying silent because, honestly, that's the smart thing to do. Until I save up enough coin to sue her for intentional misconduct or defamation, there's nothing to be done about this sort of abuse legally. We live our lives and run our businesses online and yet the law has yet to catch up.

Tryst bans providers for making one racist or transphobic statement so why is systematic ableism allowed if systematic racism isn't? Anyone can report a SW's Tryst profile if said SW is being a public bigot because that SW is a danger to the community. I assume this bigot has gotten away with harassing me (endlessly using my full work name, defaming and tagging me to harm my business and obtain attention for herself) and systemically spreading ableism because most folks genuinely don't care about ableism and only care about defamation if they've experienced it's extremely damaging effects. They don't realize that repeatedly claiming someone is "crazy" is ableist and that words like this are slurs. They don't realize that outing and mocking health conditions is ableist. Additionally, folks care less about bigotry if the person being a bigot is lying about their victims and defaming them. Racism, transphobia and all sorts of discrimination are more acceptable if the bigot plays the victim and incessantly lies about (defames) their targets.

Abusers DARVO, muddy the waters and folks think, "Well, Rose deserves it. She must've done something to deserve this abuse so I'm not going to take action or care."

DARVOing is a classic, and effective, manipulation tactic used by abusers to discredit their victims and confuse folks, something this shamer-of-folks-with-health-conditions is extremely skilled at.

Why? Why do some folks target others this way? It's partially about attention. It's also about a need to hurt others: Some people are predators and don't need much of a reason to harm another person.

Yet, this abuse lead me to discover a SW niche that has, surprisingly, been extremely financially beneficial. Life happens for us and not to us so, all in all, I'm grateful for the pain, the ego death, the stripping bare because it forced me to either give up or change it all.

Kinky GFE Continued

This SW niche I'll be discussing lives under the Kinky GFE umbrella. I'm very happy to see that ya'll have been (mostly silently) listening to my SW sermons. Ever since I began writing blog posts, posting in SW forums and various group chats about how amazingly lucrative Kinky GFE has been (to my surprise), I've noticed quite a few (especially NYC) providers adding this keyword to their websites and ads as I'm always doing market research.

I am definitely not the first provider to advertise Kinky GFE but I may be the only one actively telling other workers to advertise this service and showing them how to do it. I'm not so out of touch that I think all of the workers who are recently advertising this do so because I've been discussing it but some definitely have been influenced by my Sexy Worker Sermons. Two workers have directly thanked me for my tireless Kinky GFE sermonizing and, what can I say: Call me the SW Marketing Pastor.

Outing/mocking the fact that I have multiple health conditions that necessitated my obtaining a ton of expensive dental work sure is funny. It's hilarious that I had to have many of my teeth ripped out and replaced at a very high cost (and couldn't work, chew, smile or live my life for 2 years) due to health conditions I couldn't control. It's hilarious when survivors of deadly health conditions lose their teeth. It's also really funny to "joke" about folks who use prescription anti-anxiety medication and insinuate that they don't "remember" anything. I don't take any prescriptions but used to be addicted to them in my 20s when I was ill and this is the first time I'm publicly discussing this fact. Isn't it hilarious that I've going through the agony of deadly detox and survived? Addiction and mental health are funny and something we should publicly shame and humiliate other SWers for. Make sure to use their entire business name to really defame them. Mention "therapy sessions" and "paranoia" and truly rub in the ableism because going to therapy is shameful. You can delete these bigoted tweets because a Protector of Bigoted Predators warned you that folks are reporting your Tryst ad Twitter but they'll forever be posted right here and available on internet archives.

Jacked Escorts: The Impetus to Become a Muscle Mommy

No, I don't simply make money by being a Muscle Mommy. It's more nuanced than that. First, before I can bestow my coveted wisdom to you, I must describe what drove me to transform myself and led me to discover this SW niche. Indulge me and I'll indulge you.

Let's go back in our early-2000s-blinged-out-Victoria's-Secret-bra-time-machine to October of 2023. I didn't make a conscious decision to teach myself how to weight train for any specific reason that I was conscious of but I was suffering through my 2,548th humiliation ritual/ego death while simultaneously fighting extremely debilitating and deadly health conditions.

The anger and loss of control I felt was part of the motivation for truly getting serious about training and building muscle. As most of you know, a Vegas SW with a history of harassment (three people have filed restraining orders against her in LA), spreading dangerous lies/slander in the media and online, and cyber stalking began targeting me because I made the mistake of reacting to her and warning folks about her. Let's call her Barker.

I haven't used the bigot's name in over a year, occasionally referring to her only as my stalker (and mostly ignored her defamation and abuse, only responding directly in 2 social media threads in a non-vile, non-ableist, non-obsessive, non-harassing way over two years) and really don't want to give her narratives attention but I do feel it's necessary to actually provide proof so I'm not editing her X handle out of these bigoted, defamatory screenshots. I don't believe in protecting predators.

It was a mistake for me to ever attempt to respond and "defend" myself because she had clout/power and I didn't. As any fan of history knows, those in power control the narrative.

I also made myself look insecure by defending myself but I feel as though the situation has evolved: People need to know that they're supporting someone who's provably bigoted and therefore dangerous.

I can't prove her public history of outing herself as an SW to defame a well known celebrity, getting civilly sued for intentional misconduct, stalking other victims who filed restraining orders or show you the many social media pages and websites she made to harass civilians/SWers because I'd be posting a SWer's personal info (even though I don't think predators should be protected, especially those who outed themselves as SWers and are "public figures") so the best I can do is illustrate the bigotry, harassment and defamation that are provable.

I could screenshot and post Barker's endless doxing hate (or impersonation) pages on X made at the exact same time she began publicly targeting myself and another worker for daring to respond to the wild lies she randomly began spreading about us after her bullying/doxing associate began crap talking us to her. The entire situation is very high school except the real life consequences have been very adult. Yes, Barker was manipulated by a more intelligent SW but didn't need much persuasion to prey on us because this is her modus operandi: Hide behind computer screens and phones to abuse folks.

Call Rose's father and out her while telling nutty lies. Yes, sounds like a great way to spend a Thursday evening.

The only person who had my (and this other SW victim's) doxxes was her known doxxing associate, the Chicago escort who was kicked out of med school and convincingly pretends to be a doctor (and is a well known bully/predator herself). Myself and this other SW victim can't prove it's Barker on these pages that magically popped up right when she publicly began using her main X to abuse us so I won't distract you by showing you redacted screenshots of her even more vile ableism on these pages where she mocks a stage 3C cancer survivor and rants endlessly about how funny our deadly health conditions are. The personal info posted on those pages was not public knowledge and the only person who knew said personal info was Barker's Chicago associate.

Plus, these abusive pages sound just like Barker and reiterate all her nutty lies. You can hide behind a mask but can't hide your language, grammar, and writing patterns. She also constantly defends herself and her Chicago associate on these pages, making it even more obvious who's behind them.

This is the real reason why I'm possibly changing my work name: Clients were asking me about her "anonymous" hate pages as well as her defamation of me (where she says horrible things) and who knows how many potential clients I've lost due to her obsessively using my full business name and tagging me for years. This behavior is violent and I don't use the term abuse lightly: Harming the businesses and health of disabled SWers is violence. I had to legally change my name, have it sealed and have had my life turned upside down by this woman. Yes, I recovered, but it was and is still a fucked up situation that I shouldn't have to stay silent about.

Repetitive, unreciprocated, targeted and malicious use of a SWers name is targeted harassment, which is against Tryst's Code of Conduct but because she DARVOs and disguises her 5 trillion harassing statements as "call outs" where she's playing the victim (or the Twitter police), I guess Tryst doesn't care and assumes, without proof, that she's not lying because they're unaware of her predatory, provable history and lies tend to be believed without question in the SW world if told by someone with a (now dwindling) following.

It would take more folks reporting her Tryst profile and sending in these ableist screenshots to prompt them to deplatform this bigot.

Over these past two years, however, people have finally begun to question this Donald Trumping, obsessive, harassing repetition of unfounded lies and may finally be waking up and taking action. If we sit by silently, we allow discrimination and abuse to flourish. Why is this woman obsessively using her client-facing social media to harass/defame other workers? How is this ok?

Even my just writing this blog could cost me a client or two because I'm not playing the fantasy. Anything not vapidly sexual or cloyingly "intellectual/sweet/cute" will distract clients, at a minimum, and, at worst, freak out the weaker willed, less intuitive and empathic admirers.

Read this entire screenshot. Here's Barker outing the fact that I have a deadly health condition, Lyme disease, which I've never publicly discussed and using my full name to harass me for the 5 billionth time. She's also outing the fact that I've been in recovery from heroin addiction for years, something I really don't want clients finding out about. She assumes she can get away with this type of targeted ableism because she figures I won't want clients seeing it. Oh well, if an admirer also want to be a bigot towards folks who are strong enough to survive a health condition that kills most, I don't want him as a client. I blacked out the top part because there's no use in spreading more of her fabrications. At the bottom of this you can see her claiming I'm "scamming the government" meaning she assumes that, because I'm disabled, I must be poor and "scamming" somehow, ya know, like how all us lazy folks with health conditions do. No, every person with a disability is not on "government assistance" as she continues to claim in other posts while tagging my then X and using my full biz name to harm my mental health and business. She deleted this post recently after people began reporting her Tryst profile/Twitter but the proof remains here and archived. Do you want folks like this in your community?

Not the literal SW Kanye West of Twitter referring to me as the Kanye West of Twitter. (Wait, what does that even mean?)

Where is anyone threatening her or mentioning children? These sort of lies about kids are her favorite (because they're very effective/attention grabbing) and when she outed me to my landlord, she said I was posting her child on SW Twitter. She has posted her child on Twitter. Is that what she's referring to? Every accusation is a confession.

I've never been a bigot like she provably is and have only responded to her nuttery in 2 threads over 2 years while totally ignoring her for the past year. I've never harassed anyone (harassment is repetitive and malicious) and have never had any issues with anyone aside from Barker and her fake MD associate, Chicago escort E. Love, who doxxed myself and Marisa Marco, the cancer survivor, to Barker.

Sadly, I do feel as though I have to defend myself here because people read defamation like this an assume this is an "online bitch fight" and I must be reacting/engaging when I've been ignoring her, provably. She obsessively posts screenshots of my posts and blogs, claiming, "Here's Rose talking about me," when I'm not referring to her or using her name. She's been having an online bitch fight with herself for two years and folks don't look at the evidence/pay attention to assume I must be reacting when I'm not.

I'm still unsure as to why anyone follows, supports or believes any of Barker's wild claims considering she has a long history of ableism, defaming and slandering folks for attention and to feed the darkness inside her. She made international headlines for a series of dangerous lies she told, claiming her child had been kidnapped... when she didn't have a child. She never has any actual proof for her dangerous defamation towards other SWers (most of her "receipts" feature her impersonating her victims on 20 different X accounts) and yet, because she's been around on the internet for a while and spends quite a bit of time terminally on SW socials and farming engagement on X, SW Reddit, etc. it seems as though a few folks have a parasocial relationship with her and therefore feel as though they "know" her.

Well, allow me to introduce you to the real Ms. Barker.

Here's a screenshot my friend sent me of her AGAIN mocking folks with mental health conditions, drug users, folks on medication, addicts and folks in recovery. I can't be on X due to her creation of endless defamation/hate/doxing pages she'd use to harass me and my followers. You-you-genuinely think it's ok to out other SWers health conditions while tagging their then Twitter and using their name to harm their business so clients find it? Read the entire screenshot and it's full of ableism. She claims I'm on methadone and mocks methadone users. I'm not a methadone user but what if I was? Why should people who take meds be publicly shamed and outed? Why is it ok to out other SWers if they're on medication for a health condition? Why is it ok to shame, out and mock health conditions? How are certain folks unable to see how dangerous this is? "glass house filled with expired Xanax bottles" is so funny. Health conditions are funny. (The X account she tags at the beginning is one of the many she made impersonating myself and Marisa Marco, her other public SW victim. Most of her victims intelligently stay silent.)

r/sexworkers: The Lie Heard Round the World

7 months prior to this woman fixating on doing anything she could to harm me (and another disabled SW cancer survivor named Marisa Marco, who made the mistake of reacting to Barker's defamation at the same time I did) as her hobby, a destructive lie was spread about me on r/sexworkers (in the early summer of 2023) that sent me into a deep depression. I found the post two months after it was made so the damage to my business was already done and the 158K weekly visitors to the subreddit were sold a dangerous, destructive, baseless lie about my business.

I reported this post to the moderators for breaking all their subreddit rules/harming my business, being provably false and it was removed. It named my business which is against the sub rules. Crap talking and naming SWers isn't allowed. The sub claims to be "For SWer and those who love them" yet... They let a very dangerous lie about my biz be spread with zero proof. I assume it was The Barker but I have no proof aside from the fact that she's terminally on Reddit and ingratiates herself to the r/sexworkers mods. She's also a very well documented liar who has a very well documented history of getting into legal trouble for lying and harassment, especially online harassment.

The moderators of r/sexworkers remove any post actually proving that a SW is a scammer, a harasser, a bully, a racist, a bigot: It doesn't matter if the SW is provably dangerous. They have rules they (supposedly) abide by and these rules make sense because the point of the sub isn't to "call out" and name SWers because it's the largest and most powerful SW forum in existence. It would be fucked up if they used their forum to harm other workers, despite them doing just that. This is why it absolutely blows my mind that the mods allowed this unfounded, very dangerous lie about a disabled SWer's business to be spread. I don't really hold anyone accountable but the mods.

I bring this up because Barker attempts to explain away the doxing, hate and impersonation X pages she made abusing myself and Marico Marco by claiming someone from Reddit waited 7 months to dox, out, harass and attack me. Huh? Why would they wait 7 months and go after Marisa as well? Quite a coincidence that at the exact same time her and E. Love began defaming and spreading ableist hate about myself and Marisa that all these pages popped up. Very odd, very suspicious.

How would this random Redditor, who waited 7 months to attack me, get my address and name? How would they know I've been in recovery from heroin addiction for years? How would they know the gobs of private info about us that only E. Love knew?

This is a screenshot from one of the websites Barker made to slander, defame and harass the real estate agent who recently sued her for intentional misconduct and won. Sounds just like Barker, eh? As usual, she's DARVOing to discredit her victim and claiming her victim was "...sending out links to my ancient porn... spreading tales of me..." Every accusation is a confession with folks like this. Barker is seen here mocking the fact that her victim sued her and believes the multiple websites she made to lie about/harass this woman and her business were totally fine in the same way she believes her endless harassment and bigotry directed at myself and her other SW victims (who choose to remain silent) are fine.

Barker was just found guilty of intentional misconduct last month after harassing, cyberstalking and slandering a civilian woman. How many other victims are like me don't have $50k for an attorney? I'm saving up to sue her but that takes time. In the above screenshot, she's joking about harming her victim's reputation and jokes about getting sued. I'm not sure yet how much money Barker will owe her latest civilian victim but I assume it won't be cheap considering this woman is a real estate agent and, like SW, reputation is everything and lies become the truth because some folks see this abuse as "drama" and not the trauma that it is. I have yet to fully research this intentional misconduct trial and all the websites Barker made so don't know if her systematic ableism is also on display there but her rabid internalized misogyny is.

The scream I screamed after realizing this bigot was unbalanced enough to think anyone would believe a client bought her a ridiculous amount of hacking equipment that's mainly used to hack folks IRL. Clients get rock hard knowing that the escort they're seeing can hack their phone and copy their car keys. Yes, she's hacked at least 3 provider's phones and can send malware to your device if she has your phone number but can only see your phone screen and has no access to files. She hacked a few SWs' social medias using passwords leaked in data breaches but these devices are generally used for up-close hacking within a certain physical distance. Those 20 likes are from her 20 Bluesky sock accounts where she acts as her own reply guy and harasses folks. Why would an escort post this on her social media? Is the "Escort Who Can Copy Your Credit Card Info" a niche I'm unaware of?

Ego death #2,547.

These events were either going to destroy me or they were going to rip me to shreds, yes, and build me back up again into the person I was born to become. Seven months after the Reddit post that I assume Barker made (but I could be wrong), Barker began targeting myself and another worker for being dumb enough to warn folks about her. My and this SW's phones were hacked and she posts her hacking equipment in the above Bluesky post like it's quirky and cute.

Barker doxed us, outed us to our families and people IRL all while denying her abuse, accusing us of disgusting things with zero proof to distract folks (like posting her child online... Something she herself did.) and when someone who has more clout than us decides to lie/harass us and harm our biz/reputation, guess who wins. SWers are traumatized and very risk averse: If someone with clout gossips about us, it becomes the truth even if folks know the gossiper is a documented liar who's been civilly sued for behaving in an unbalanced way towards others... It taints us.

She started a ton of "anonymous" social media pages to harass clients and SWers who'd engage with myself and Marisa's social media posts and lord knows how much $ she cost us. Her other public victim will discuss this if you contact her via the info on her site (Marisa Marco) but she refuses to use Bluesky or X due to Barker's feral attacks.

As previously discussed, Barker was able to convince a few folks that someone from Reddit magically waited 7 months to dox, harass, etc. me at the exactly same time Barker decided to publicly harass myself and another SW. Why would this doxing, etc. mysteriously coincide with Barker slandering/harassing/making tons of public bigoted, ableist statements about myself and Marisa? Are people not aware of her criminal and civil history of harassing people? Are people ok with her shaming/outing SWers with health conditions on her blog (that she started to harass me) and socials? (You can delete the tweets but nothing is ever deleted from the internet.)

I edited out her username and can't be bothered to find the unedited post amidst my 100s of screenshots of her abuse. Here she is, again, harassing/defaming me to harm my business. Every accusation is a confession. She began signing me up for endless emails, texts and phone calls from plastic surgery, weight loss, etc. businesses so has to get up on her soapbox and DARVO, deflect and accuse her victim of the abusive harassment she's publicly documented as engaging in. Folks do blindly believe defamation like this online and it has measurably damaging effects on businesses and mental health, especially in the risk averse SW world.

Ableist Bullying is C*nty and Cool

As an example of the type of bigoted Barker behavior I've had to shut up and take, I've posted a video she made mocking my physical disability and, very creepily, dressing up as me to, as she says on her blog, "Be a c*nt," because escorting clients love c*nts who bully, harass and are bigoted towards others, I guess. (Side note: After she began her obsessive public abuse of me, she dyed her hair dark red and, although it could be a coincidence and looks deliciously horrible with her complexion, it's creepy as fuck, especially when she dresses up as me in the below posts like it's Halloween.)

I posted a video of myself wearing a white camisole, jeans and filmed myself in a bathroom mirror (video posted below) using the 🌶️ emoji as well as an awesome Kings of Leon song. I've publicly discussed the fact that the way I dance and move my body is "weird" at times because I'm disabled so Barker decided to take advantage of that fact that my movements are not like those of an able-bodied person and mocked me.

She too donned a white camisole, jeans and used the same emoji, the same song and copied the movements I made. Except I didn't use a ridiculous filter and don't filter any of my videos because I don't hate myself and am not so out-of-touch that I think admirers can't spot a filter that makes my lips magically 10x bigger, my nose non-existent and my skin blurry. She also admits to mocking me in the caption and on her blog while mimicking the fact that I have privately told folks this is ableist.

Oh, the internet has a long memory alright. Deflect, defame and discredit all you want: The actual "receipts" are right here. After I obtained a larger following on Bluesky, Barker was scared shitless that my story would actually be heard so started a blog to further defame, discriminate, harass and skinwalk as me. She may have removed the posts as her associate informed her that folks were reporting her Tryst profile and Twitter but the evidence remains archived.

A Master Class in Manipulation and Abuse

When I'd attempt to warn other SWers about Barker, it often fell on deaf ears because she'd been defaming me for so long. The SWers who did believe me were generally also victims of this type of abuse or intuitive/discerning and highly empathetic. Most people are fairly selfish and genuinely don't care unless they've also experienced attacks against them without recourse.

Barker obsessively accuses, without proof, her victims of whatever abuse she engages in and folks then simply keep their distance, because, as I've said, SWers are risk averse and I've lost community, friends and became isolated due to this abuse. I barely attempt to have SW "community" because I'm so burnt from the rejection. Her other public victim, Marisa, feels the same. (Barker has doxed and harassed other SWers who remain silent.) I can't tell you how much it hurts to have folks believe the abusive lies spread by your abuser and turn their back when you need them the most.

Turns out, I needed no one but still, no one (aside from Barker and E. Love) deserves this.

Despite the fact that Barker outed herself publicly as a SW a few years ago and people know about her history of abusing folks because it's public record, I didn't have the clout to do anything about it because I'd given up on social media and barely blogged due to the depression this sent me into. My mistake was reacting in 2 social media threads because that threatened her image (all some folks care about) and prompted her to go harder in her abuse.

Anyone who knows how to use internet archives can find her storied history of ableism and targeted harassment despite her deleting the most damning posts. Yes, a year ago she began defaming me on Bluesky (after doing so on X for a year while I ignored her) after I gained a large following. I stupidly defended myself and immediately removed the posts, realizing that folks like this feed off our reactions. No, I didn't write whatever bad reviews she has. Maybe the 4 civilians who've sued her and/or filed restraining orders against her have. Maybe the other SWers she's harassed and doxxed posted a review. Maybe fans of the beloved celebrity she slandered in an attempt to garner online attention are messing with her. Maybe the people she lied to about a kidnapped, non-existent child mess with her. Maybe people don't like bigots. But these explanations don't fit her narrative. I wouldn't be surprised if she wrote herself a bad review just to post it and claim it was written by me to further DARVO (deny abuse reverse victim offender roles) and discredit me. Again she displays her ableist obsession telling folks I'm "crazy" and shaming folks with mental health conditions.

There's no mention of her anywhere on my blog or socials yet she's continued to target me for harassment and ableism with no repercussions for years because defamation lawsuits aren't cheap. My business info is all over her website and socials. Who knows how many clients this has cost me in addition to community. SWers don't want to fuck with you if they think you're out here doing this wild stuff she accuses her victims of. I really don't want to spread her lies further around the internet but, if you lack the intuition and discernment to see this for what it is, I don't know what to tell you.

She lies about things most folks don't lie about, claiming "Everyone hates Rose," (no, they don't) and that I "Harass sex workers," (every accusation is a confession). She posts a screenshot of me leaving a comment asking why SW acquaintance wouldn't follow me (sad and pathetic and fueled by the health conditions I was treating at the time but not harassment). She posts and email I sent to a SW named Felicity something or other, whom I had been cool with, warning Felicity about Barker who then sent the email to Barker, who posted to her online soapbox, claiming I was "harassing" Felicity. (Thanks for giving more fuel to my abuser, refusing to do your research on Barker and being messy towards me when I was attempting to warn you that you're dealing with a provably dangerous person.)

I have had to endlessly endure this woman constantly harassing me publicly, using my business name constantly and bringing me up out of nowhere while some folks still seem to think I'm the bad guy due to her manipulations.

I really don't think it's possible to get through to people like this. If someone chooses to not listen to victims and supports actual proven bigotry, defamation and harassment, well, good luck. I hope you stay on her good side, my darling Protector of Bigots and Proven Predators, oh thee of low intellect and discernment.

(Oops, was that mean? Too "sassy"? Someone remind me to give a fuck about a bitch who assisted my abuser in abusing me and cost me who knows how many potential clients as well as community.)

I made a post about my stalker (it goes way beyond stalking) on Bluesky because people have informed me that she's following and harassing them on Rose Bluesky hate pages, which can be very detrimental to a person's business and mental health, so she decided to leave a comment harassing me further, spreading her ableism (I'm merely "crazy," remember?) and harassing other SWers in my comments, as she's done countless times. This blog will ne 20 hours long if I post all the evidence. Tell me, which providers have had to deal with my "insane" (ableist slur #4,079) harassment? Huh? Where's your evidence? Harassment is what she's doing here: REPETITIVE AND MALICIOUS. Every accusation is a confession. The lack of self awareness and hypocrisy (while referring to her victims as hypocrites) are fascinating. Please, provide proof of my "doxxing children"... Absolutely disgusting. She loves to bring up her children as pawns in order to further whatever abusive narrative she's spinning. Who knows how many clients, SWers, etc. believe I'm a demon over here "doxxing kids" online when... Every accusation is a confession and SHE doxxed her civ victim's child on the website she made to defame her.

Life Happens For Us

Suffice to say, a bitch was powerless. Extremely depressed.

"Why me?" I'd whine like a sad little victim. Little did I know that these wild humiliation rituals, like the ones I'd survived in my youth, were stripping me bare and releasing what no longer served me.

Life happens for us, not to us. My prior SW persona needed to go: I was ill with tickborne health conditions when I birthed her and she didn't represent who I was. She was also infected.

I blogged, yes, but hid myself and attempted to say what I thought clients wanted to hear. I also needed to lose my reputation/my social media engagement (and clients)/a few friends/acquaintances and feel utterly rejected and alone, betrayed by my "community" in order to become desperate enough to begin developing the spiritual practice that has made me more prosperous, joyous and free than ever before.

I was also very physically ill at the time I began weight training so my pushing cable machines around was a middle finger to the body that wanted me dead.

Barely able to move your body?

Oh, you can't stop sweating, shaking and your kidneys/lower back feel like they're on fire?

Chronic fatigue? Just go for 5 minutes.

Can barely lift a weight due to the sharp, endless stinging neuropathy? It's ok, ease up on the weight.

Chest pains? Push through. (Ok, maybe don't do what I did, kids, cause ya might die.)

Keep going. Don't let it win.

Sweaty and feverish from detoxing these deadly, digging spirochetes? Get a sweat rag.

I really don't know what coalesced in my Spirit that said, "Torture yourself for a higher cause." Weight training is extremely masochistic. Yes, I loved femmes with cute muscles and am obsessed with the aesthetic but I was never motivated until I a) became very ill and b) became powerless, semi-cancelled for doing nothing aside from attracting the attention of a bigoted predator.

The Niche Reveal

Now, to digress from my digression: What SW niche am I specifically referring to?

There are many dommes who wrestle clients and demonstrate feats of strength. Some are trained in martial arts and some are body builders. They put men in holds and may genuinely wrestle them. What most dommes don't generally do is kiss their subs or get overly sensual, although this may happen. Most clients are afraid to approach a domme and ask for a more sensual experience.

There are many escorts who wrestle. They may train their legs a bit but aren't especially strong. If they played soccer in college or were dancers then they'll be stronger than most but aren't strong.

That's where I come in: I am extremely strong yet don't necessarily look it unless I'm flexing or pumped up from the gym/creatine. You wouldn't look at me and think that I push more weight than your man when working out my back. There's this idea that heavy weight training, I mean "maxing out" until you almost injure yourself (jk...don't do that, leave it to the real masochists like me... one could argue this entire blog is an exercise is masochism), will make a lady look "bulky" and strong women aren't valued by society so it's rare to find a provider who is genuinely strong. Most of the guys I wrestle tell me I'm the strongest provider they've met (as I like to repeatedly brag about.)

Started from the bottom (3 lb dumbbells) now we're here.

Most companions simply aren't strong strong and the handful of us that seriously weight train are in high demand for a more sensual sensual wrestling session. We enjoy playing up a more erotic session, something most dommes aren't comfy with. There's no actual FS activity going on during these sessions (in my experience) but there is "heavy petting" and intimacy.

Quite a few sweet clients have thanked me for providing such a rare service. They love the dommes who throw them (sensually) around but are grateful for someone who's also able to be more intimate. My wrestling guys book me for extended sessions and are some of my favorite admirers.

How can you, the SW reading this, apply this to your brand?

You can't. It's not as easy as adding "Kinky GFE" to your SEO or Tryst ad and hinting at kink in a few social media posts. This, my beloved lurkers, takes years of dedication, 120 grams of protein a day (a lot of $ spent on food/protein powder), and a Warrior Spirit. Shredding your muscles and building them back into cute dainty bumps isn't something I expect anyone to do but if you do weight train already (as everyone should if they're able), push hard and utilize progressive overload to actually get stronger.

Imagine my voice in your ear screaming, "Light weight, baby! Everyone wanna to be a bodybuilder! Don't no one want to lift this heavy ass weight!" like Ronnie Coleman.

I am disabled and can't physically do certain exercises and part of this experience was about testing myself and saying "F U" to my body, mind and soul. When I say I studied at Weight Lifting and Hypertrophy YouTube University, I mean it. I did hire a female bodybuilder to coach me but she wasn't pushing me hard enough so I continue to do it all on my own. Getting strong isn't rocket science but most folks can't achieve it unless they have true grit.

If anyone actually read this entire blog, wow. I'll probably delete it (so take your screenshots now) because it's very much anti-marketing and I don't want to spread this bigot's abusive narrative further around the interwebs nor do I want to lose clients due to outing some former unsexual health conditions. The moral of the story is as follows: We have two choices in life.

Give up and give in or stand up and fight. I gave up for a while and my destructive tendencies took over as I spiraled, alone, into the isolated darkness and was forced onto my knees, seizing from the invaders in my body with no one to come save me, searching for something, someone who'd care. And yet no one appeared, no human form, at least.

What I found was something much more powerful.

I'll never forget the first time I cast a circle and asked for protection from some unknown force I could feel and not yet see.

"Why me?" I asked. "How can they get away with this?" I cried endlessly in the abyss while thoughts of ending it all floated through my jumbled mind. Holy Death had used her blessed scythe to cut away my family and friends, was kicked out of my home and living in a crappy situation, my health conditions were outed all over Twitter and who knows how many clients I was losing due to this abuse.

This unedited selfie was taken a year and a half after the deadly illness/deadly defamer situation. Damn, how am I so hot?

I stared Death in the face, alone, and symptoms of Parkinson's disease (tickborne infections mimic neuro diseases) wrecked my body, forcing seizures, lack of balance, shaking, a stroke, chills, fevers and endless pain throughout every organ and cell as my systems detoxed as I endured deadly babesiosis Herxheimer reactions. Yet you'd never know simply by looking at me that I survived all this and treated myself, no western medical industrial complex needed.

My phone was hacked. My reputation basically destroyed based on the lies of a demon and yet, miraculously, I was protected.

My body was on the brink of collapse and I couldn't work or afford the $100k a year out-of-pocket tickborne disease specialists/treatments as my moderately narcissistic family basically ignored me/had no clue what Lyme Borrelia Complex even was. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. This isolation forced me to say, WTH, let's try herbalism and you know what?

It actually worked and a woo-woo, born-again hippie I have become.

I could barely walk, was shaking uncontrollably, feverish and it felt as though every cell in my body was crying out in agony.

Yet, I held on and found a way out of the darkness by taking the first steps in finding a Higher Power and my Power as a Healer. Most people wouldn't have been able to figure out how to heal themselves when they could barely read much less think.

Sure, this situation has traumatized me and I'm unable to let it go. Yes, I'm aware. But I found my Power and have never been more prosperous.

If, by some miracle, someone reads this entire blog: Thank you. It really helps if you can hit "like" on my Bluesky post promoting it. I simply want to be heard and can only hope that a few people do the right thing and let the platforms she's on know about her ableism and harassment. It is abuse and it is dangerous.

I can't do it alone and I'm beyond grateful for those who have intuition, empathy and care.

The Songs That Saved Me:

I Will Never Die by Delta Rae: Old heat of raging fire. Come and light my eyes. Summer's kiss through electric wire. But I'll never die.

Raise Hell by Dorothy: Young blood stand and deliver. Somebody's gotta raise a little hell.

Chalk Outlines by Ren and Chinchilla: So it goes. Let it be. On the gallows I balanced on my toes so I could breathe. (This one always makes me cry. You've been warned. I can't listen to this anymore because it takes me right back.)

Hi Ren by Ren - (The internet loves Ren. I found him when I first began treating these illnesses with plants. He has Lyme Borrelia Complex and wrote many of his songs while fighting through. This song is about finding God amidst the chaos.)

I was made to be tested and twisted

I was made to be broken and beat

I was made by His hand, it's all part of His plan

That I stand on my own two feet

And you know me, my will is eternal

And you know me, you've met me before

Face-to-face with a beast, I will rise from the east

And I'll settle on the ocean floor

And I go by many names also

Some people know me as "hope"

Some people know me as the voice that you hear

When you loosen the noose on the rope

And you know how I know that I'll prosper?

'Cause I stand here beside you today

I have stood in the flames that cremated my brain

And I didn't once flinch or shake