Newsletters for S*xy Werkers: Connect with Your Admirers and Control Your Narrative

Would you like to increase your prosperity and connect more deeply with your audience? Creating an email marketing list and sending out newsletters can be extremely lucrative and fun. Read on if you'd like to hear what's worked for me in terms of communicating with admirers and friends via newsletters.

As usual, I must inform you that I'm not a technology expert. This post is meant to explain what's worked for me marketing-wise in terms of messaging.

Very studious. Very intellectual. Very nerd.

How It All Started

I began collecting email addresses on my former website via a pop-up a few years ago. This was something I'd procrastinated on for a while and I didn't add a "Subscribe to my newsletter" section initially because I didn't see the point. What would I say in a newsletter? It sounded like more unnecessary work and I was not looking to spend more time in front of a device.

Then I figured, "So what? Just do it. If you don't end up sending out any newsletters, oh well."

I did want to notify folks when I posted my blogs so took a few minutes out of my day to set up a lightbox (also known as a "pop-up") on my site prompting viewers of my site to enter their email addresses and subscribe to my newsletter. I've collected a few hundred email addresses over the years and this annoying pop-up has benefitted me in many ways.

The In-Your-Face-Marketing Approach

SWers are constantly deplatformed, a non-sexy reality that may not be discussed often due to providers fulling The Fantasy® role while marketing ourselves on socials. When we lose our 5th Twitter/IG account, we may lose touch with many of our admirers and a mailing list can help lessen the pain of such a loss by allowing us to let admirers know about our new social media accounts. Instagram and X are purging SW accounts feverishly so taking a few moments to set up a "Subscribe" box on our websites is a very smart business decision that requires little effort.

It seems to me like a more in-your-face marketing approach featuring a pop-up prompting folks to subscribe to my newsletter is more effective than an in-page "Subscribe" box because barely anyone seems to read nowadays. How many potential clients have actually read our websites? (Looking at our photos doesn't count as reading.) Certain individuals simply scroll to the "Contact" section of our profiles and read nothing.

We're constantly handholding and repeating the info found on our sites when interacting with potential clients (meaning many don't read our sites) so a "Subscribe to My Newsletter" box isn't enough if we want to maximize our reach and truly capture that priceless attention and contact information. A friend informed me that pop-ups lower SEO and I didn't find that that mattered to me. Clients find providers on ad sites in NYC, not Google. If a guy Googles "e$c0rts nyc" he's inundated with tons of spammy scraper sites and e$c0rt agencies, not actual provider websites so SEO has no effect on my business.

They can't stop us. We simply get hotter, healthier and more prosperous. Transmutation, baby.

Pop-up's and Malicious SEO: Why SEO Doesn't Matter (for ME.)

Putting a pop-up my website to gather email addresses has had no negative impact on my business that I can see. Over these past two years, my website has had its SEO harmed by a certain malicious provider who has some very limited tech abilities but before I garnered her attention, I ranked very high on Google for certain keyword searches like "redhead e$c0rt NYC" and "Kinky GF3" despite my having a pop-up on my site. My ranking high on Google for these search terms didn't bring me more clients but it did assuage my ego and I arrogantly bragged about it on Twitter, which is what probably gave this woman the idea to attempt to harm my business in this manner. (I have tons of evidence that's irrelevant to this discussion that points to this individual wasting countless hours/days of their lives engaging in malicious SEO.)

Yes, I have to discuss this situation when writing blogs, especially business blogs, because this woman's malicious activities have affected my business (for the better by forcing me to change everything about myself). True, if I went totally grey rock she'd maybe stop in like, ten years, but I'm not a grey rock type of bitch. That doesn't work for everyone or in every situation. There is a way to grow through pain/abuse and refuse to STFU about it but, I admit, most people couldn't (and shouldn't) do what I do.

It felt kinda good to know that I had high SEO but it didn't make me money. It was a pointless ego thing. When I'd ask admirers where they found me, they always informed me that they found me on an ad site. Niche providers in smaller cities may, however, benefit from having high SEO for certain keyword searches.

Aside from a lightbox (pop-up), providers can also add a checkbox on our booking forms asking potential clients if they want to subscribe to our newsletter. This isn't as effective as a pop-up because many clients email us and don't fill out booking forms. We can also ask admirers if they'd like to be added to our mailing list when communicating with them.

Weird selfies = attention

The Attention Economy

"Digital products are competing for users’ limited attention. The modern economy increasingly revolves around the human attention span and how products capture that attention."

- Some website

Sometimes I'm super "in your face" and send out a newsletter to every person who's filled out my booking form.

We all know what it's like to order a product online or fill out a form and receive an endless flood of emails. I don't love that and don't generally send newsletters to folks simply because they've filled out my booking form because I don't want to be too annoying, but we exist within an attention economy. It's a saturated market, a hottie eat hottie world, and I will risk pissing a few people off in order to have my voice heard. If they don't like it, they can opt-out and I won't send them anymore newsletters.

I'm sure there are other tips and tricks can we conjure up for snagging email addresses (with consent) and this is only what's worked for me. A few years back, a few providers started raffling off free sessions and I assume that's also a great way to collect admirer email addresses. (Also, very smart idea because the provider could simply not do the free date and no one would be the wiser.)

Domme, girlfriend, baby girl, sweet as sunshine? Pick your poison.

Controlling Our Narratives

If we have to change our work information, like I've been forced to do, controlling own our narrative is priceless. We think it'll never happen to us and then it does. I've been in and out of in-person SW for over fifteen years and I've never had an issue with another SW or had a malicious person attacking my business (and my family/life IRL) until now. I'd heard the stories of SW on SW attacks but didn't really care or think it could happen to me.

We don't have empathy for situations like this until we survive them. Prepare now for possibly losing your socials and/or needing to rebrand because I've talked privately to countless providers who have lost things of value because of other women in this biz.

Be sure to save your mailing list in multiple places/the cloud. You never know.

Having a list of admirers who want to stay in touch with me has allowed me to update them regarding my new email address, website, socials and whatnot as I had to change my business name due to this woman's harassment and defamation. Yes, I'm saving up to sue her (as a civilian woman she was harassing/defaming recently did) but that takes time and I would be utterly screwed if I didn't start collecting emails via a pop-up years ago.

Some providers collect email addresses via Substack. Some use a variety of free and paid services like Mailchimp and Gmail to send newsletters. I want the people who browse my website to be prompted to subscribe in a very obvious, easy way and don't want to direct folks to a separate site (like Substack) because I know I'll lose a few potential clients along the way. Only my most committed admirers will visit a separate website to subscribe to my newsletter. (I love you, my committed admirers!)

I'd stalk me.

Stalker Alert

Some providers have private newsletters where they do some form of screening and then add admirers to an email marketing list in order to avoid communicating with stalkers and malicious individuals who may subscribe to newsletters with ill intent. I book a lot of clients when touring due to the tour announcements I make via my newsletters, and these aren't guys I know or have any way of screening. They signed up via the pop-up on a whim and probably wouldn't have verified themselves to me.

I'm willing to, in a sense, sacrifice a bit of privacy in order to have a larger reach via my newsletters.

Yes, the woman (well, there are technically two of them but only one is a genuine stalker stalker) who's been attacking my business and personal life for two years has sent me harassing messages directly after I've sent out my newsletters. In the past, before I made the mistake of warning people about her and therefore became her target, I would send newsletters and no one harassed me and then, magically, once this woman set her stalker sights on me, I began getting occasionally harassed directly after my newsletters were sent.

Does this negatively affect my life? No. I'm a bit sick and enjoy the fact that these two malicious people waste their time reading my newsletters, blogs and social media posts. Give me all that negative energy so I can transmute it.

This type of unwanted attention may genuinely freak some of us out and we'd therefore want to implement some form of screening, like verifying folks via a real phone number, before adding them to our email marketing lists. My attitude now is to embrace what seems like pain and transmute it. Now I see that this whole experience happened to me to teach me to a) not care what strangers online think of my persona (which is not genuinely me) and b) relinquish control.

Write a newsletter about that cute bakery date you had in Fells Point, Baltimore.

What the Heck Do I Say?

Not an Attention Wh0re? Don't like promoting yourself?

I obviously can't relate. 😉

If we don't enjoy hearing ourselves type, figuring out what to say in a newsletter may be difficult for us.

I've had a lot of success utilizing my newsletters to sway admirers to underwrite (or sponsor) tours. If I want to visit a specific area, I'll mention this in my newsletter and will also promote pre-booked tours this way. The pop-up on my website lets visitors know that they should subscribe to my newsletter for tour updates and I've been able to meet with quite a few lovely social media admirers this way.

Personally, I use my blog to discuss my "weird" (to the mainstream) witchy spiritual practice and other aspects of my authentic personality, so I don't discuss this stuff via my newsletter but instead link to my blogs. You may want to delve more deeply into, IDK, what do non-weird providers like? Consumption? jk.

Sending out exclusive photos is also something I do to keep my admirers hooked to me via my newsletters. I'm going to start thanking the guys who send me gifts via gift card, wish list or online transfer/crypto in my newsletters in order to encourage more of this generous behavior. Yes, I love writing and creating images for you to admire but it's also a lot of work and I'm beyond grateful for those of you for reward my efforts!

Here are some content ideas for the beautiful, awesome, amazing newsletters I know you are going to start sending out after reading this blog:

Give a Little, Get a Lot: Research suggests that the reciprocity rule rules. Meaning, we're more likely to leave a generous tip at a restaurant if the check comes with free mints or if free bread was provided before the meal. Check out the book Influence for more details. Giving admirers access to exclusive photos and video links via our newsletters may activate the reciprocity rule and they're more likely to return the favor with kind wish list gifts, tips and more.

It's My Birthday/Month/Year: I have to hand it to the providers who turn their birth*day* into an entire month. Bravo. We can send out newsletters letting admirers know about our birthday month or announce events like photoshoots, tours, and special rates.

If we want to do a photoshoot, we can advertise this fact via our newsletters and accept donations via a wish list service like Throne. Don't forget about cryptocurrency donations. If an admirer can figure out how to use Cashapp, he can figure out how to send Bitcoin via Cashapp. (I send Cashapp's guide on buying and selling Bitcoin to clients so they can see how easy it is to use. A literal inanimate object could figure out how to buy/sell Bitcoin. If you can pass the bar or work any type of job, you can click a few buttons to send cryptocurrency.)

Educational Content: We can write educational newsletters letting admirers know about our policies and SW industry knowledge that they may find interesting. Providing links to curated content like news stories on SW and legislation can be valuable and conducive to our branding if we lean more into our intellect to seduce admirers.

Behind-the-Scenes: We can document our travels and photoshoots with behind-the-scenes content to engage our audience and form a stronger relationship with them.

Our Favorite Things:

We can discuss our favorite books, TV shows, movies...I should really take my own advice here because I've never actually implemented half of these ideas. Humanize ourselves to admirers and say, "I'm just like you! I can read!" by letting them know what books we're into.

We can discuss our favorite fetishes! Restaurants! Vacation spots!

Testimonials: We can send newsletter subscribers our reviews if we allow them. Either a screenshot or a copy/paste of the review can help admirers see us as "real."

Did I give you a few good ideas or entertain you via this blog? It really helps me if you hit ❤️ on my Bluesky post and X post promoting this blog! Do you subscribe to provider newsletters? If so, what do you enjoy about them?