SW and the Psychology of Persuasion: Marketing Secrets for Success

I thought the negative, yet educational, posts I made on social media were helping admirers find me. They sure did generate a decent number of likes, reposts, and comments on social media. The art of marketing and "compliance" weren't areas I'd studied and delved into yet, so I thought, hey, getting attention on social media a good thing, right? Clients will organically find me because other providers are reposting me.

While this may be partially true, I am more financially successful (and happier) since deleting a few of my more "negative" blog posts and social media statements. This is due to a well-researched and documented phenomena referred to as the association principle.

It's glaringly simple when we think about it: People want to engage with positive content and positive people. I may think I'm educating the world on SW rights and signaling my virtue by discussing negative political events but what I'm really doing is, slowly, over time, associating my persona with negativity.

Read on to discover compliance and marketing hacks that are not only fascinating but extremely useful for professional hot people on the internet.

Don't Kill the Messenger

“There is a natural human tendency to dislike a person who brings us unpleasant information, even when that person did not cause the bad news. The simple association with it is enough to stimulate our dislike.”

― Robert B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Everyone has heard of the phrase, "Don't kill the messenger," right? Whether we realize it or not, we subconsciously associate folks who make negative statements with bad energy and don't want to engage with them. Weather forecasters in locations with good weather have tons of fans and get adoring fan mail, according to the research in Cialdini's book. Weather forecasters in locales where the weather is cold and snowy get death threats. Studies illustrate this fact as well and I recommend all business folks read his best-selling book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. We aren't really aware of why we dislike brands that deliver bad news or negative info. It's, like all things in this world, an energy.

People are already stressed out by the general state of our world and as a companion and kinkster, I should be a warm respite from the storm. It's addictive when we see the likes and engagement fly in on social media after we blast our hot takes on ICE and whatever else is destroying the fabric of our society and I'm sure some providers are privileged enough to get away with a barrage of posts that essentially say, "The world sucks. Let's commiserate about it."

I am here, however, to be financially prosperous and have my voice heard. Part of me does want to genuinely connect with folks and I am less effective at doing so if I'm making negative statements about how illogical and disrespectful it is when clients won't send a deposit (guilty) despite the many options that are anonymous. I am less effective when I complain about how the world is full of Time Wasters who disrespect providers and want free phone calls, endless emailing and a ton of uncompensated emotional labor. It's cathartic to discuss but not effective. Instead, I'm better off focusing on the innumerable admirers who do respect us, send deposits and don't contact us until they're ready to see us.

How to Utilize Social Proof: Buying Followers, etc.

Additionally, there's a phenomenon referred to as social proof that's also at play here. There are more obvious examples of social proof, like the fact that perceived p0pularity (social media followers) leads us to buy into whatever someone on social media is selling. If someone has more followers than us on social media and spreads false information about us, they're likely to be believed simply because more people follow them online.

I definitely noticed that I had a ton of influence over folks when I was addicted to Twitter/X and had a large following. I could make boring, bland, obvious statements about SW and I'd go viral simply because I had a large following.

Additionally, I noticed that buying followers was extremely beneficial for me at the time. At first, very few providers would follow me back on social media (due to my tiny following) so I started buying small chunks of followers and slowly, more and more folks started following me because I looked "popular." 😊 Then I no longer needed to buy followers due to the social proof that I was "popular" and worth following online.

Now, this technique doesn't work post-Elon because buying bots will harm our engagement but it sure was an easy hack at the time and I know tons of well-known providers who have done the same thing, but they'd never admit it publicly.

I don't see shame in doing what I thought I needed to do at the time in order to grow my social proof and have admirers organically find me on X. Bluesky followers can't be purchased and I wouldn't purchase them even if I could because it looks weird enough as it is having 6k followers and 3 likes on certain posts due to a drastic reduction in folks using SW Bluesky in the past few months. I also rarely scroll/like and farm engagement on social media, meaning I may obtain less "likes" and comments than others, so buying followers wouldn't improve my social proof because it wouldn't actually increase engagement and potential virality.

Foot worship sessions are extremely popular.

Social Proof: "My Post Popular Session" 😉

“Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer.”

― Robert B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Research illustrates the fact that dishes at a restaurant are far more likely to be ordered if they're branded as "popular" instead of "Chef's specialty." If an ice cream shop labels a flavor of ice cream as "Our Most Popular Flavor," sales skyrocket. That's why I label my three-hour session as my most "popular," 😁 and only started doing so after reading Cialdini's book. It was true that I booked many three-hour sessions in the past because I labeled it as, "Recommended for New Friends," but that doesn't hold the same weight as claiming something is popular.

Additionally, I'm simply and utterly amazing at what I do/branding myself so I naturally attract clients who want to spend a lot of time with me. I actually research this stuff because manipulation/marketing, in fact, generally doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not saying my claiming my longer sessions are "popular" is the only reason why admirers spend long periods of time with me, but it is a little "compliance" trick that's proven to work. (I may be engaging in this tactic as we speak...)

Shh...

Negative Social Proof: Don't Say It!

Social proof can backfire when we claim that many people are engaging in a bad behavior. Cialdini explains a research study he did in which he placed signs in a state park. Some of the signs said something similar to, "70% of visitors to this park litter. Littering is bad. Don't do it!"

The sign featured images of park visitors littering with a big red X over the image. This advertising increased the number of folks who littered! On the other hand, a different sign was posted claiming, "Very few people litter in this park," featuring images of people picking up trash. Littering was greatly reduced due to that imagined social proof that not many people littered in the park.

This made me cringe thinking about all the social media and blog posts I've made (without thinking) engaging in negative social proof. I'd created, for example, posts explaining why it was bad to Time Waste and expect free emotional labor from providers via tons of emails, texts, DM's and the sending us of paragraphs long emails about kinks without paying us. I was essentially saying, "Lots of people Fantasy Book and Time Waste," which only encouraged said behavior.

Cialdini illustrates more research and examples of negative social proof so read his book to fully grasp this concept. Essentially, if we claim that lots of people are doing something that harms us/our business that we don't want them to do, they'll do it more.

It's better to not discuss negative behavior at all due to it associating our personas with negative energy. I just survived the most prolific Time Waster of All Time recently, a Southern attorney (of course) who's extremely lucky that I'm not (too) petty and am not sending an invoice to his office prompting him to pay my cancellation fee. I'll let the universe take care of this nut but it was so, so tempting to write a blog about this experience. He did send a deposit (I would have stopped engaging with him at the beginning if he hadn't) but sent me 100 emails, expected free phone calls, and the point of this blog isn't to detail this very weird (yet wealthy and professional) dude but he's so crazy that is would make for an entertaining, yet negative, blog post.

I'd basically be saying, "Please, sniff coke and sent me 100 emails!"

If I made a post on social media saying, as many providers do, "I'm a business professional. Don't waste my time. Here's why you shouldn't waste my time," I am telling folks that it's ok to behave this way because other admirers are behaving this way.

**** MIND BLOWN ****

There are creative ways in which we can attempt to prevent folks from Fantasy Booking and being weird about deposits, but, ultimately, these men are on hard drugs and there's no reasoning with a drug. I'm just kidding. What I meant to say is, if a guy doesn't respect me enough to follow my (totally safe and anonymous deposit/screening protocols), my discussing it won't change his mind. There are, after all, tons of providers who don't require deposits or screening.

They don't hold a veladora to my flame but it's pointless to attempt to change the minds of guys who illogically, despite their high level of education, think anonymous gift card or cash crypto deposits will out them to the world as individuals who spend time with hot professional companions/kinksters and it is a form of negative social proof.

Just admit it. Imperfection = Trustworthy

Admitting Our Faults: Authenticity Sells(ish)

You've heard of Warren Buffett, right? He's known as one of the most successful investors and businesspeople of all time and he starts out all of his quarterly earnings reports by discussing the mistakes he made. If it was a bad idea to acquire a specific asset, he'll mention this. Then, he discusses all the ways he made shareholders money and is successful.

Appearing to admit faults and positioning ourselves as "honest" sales-people is a tactic that's proven to work. Waiters who earn the highest tips may say, "Oh, that dish isn't too great today. I recommend you try this one instead," after a patron orders the most expensive menu item. He recommends a dish that's still expensive but it less expensive than what the person ordered. This trick prompts us to trust our server more, order more and tip generously according to Cialdini's research.

I will say that this is something that comes naturally to me. I'm a little too good at admitting my fuckups and didn't realize that I was not only being relatable but accidentally positioning myself as authentic in a world full of inauthenticity. It makes us interesting as well, in my opinion, and prompts folks to follow us more closely on social media/read our blogs/etc. Many of my admirers hang onto every word I write here because my flaws, combined by my Goddess-like Divinity, fascinate them. A paradox: We can be human and Otherworldly. Dark and Light simultaneously, nuanced, existing in a grey area that they can't stop attempting to understand. But that's just my opinion.

There is a fine line between admitting our mistakes briefly and portraying ourselves as total and utter idiots/failures. One must have intuition and discernment to know when to not discuss mistakes.

Narcissists and folks with antisocial personality disorders will never admit they've fucked up and have unconscious self defense mechanisms that convince them that they're utter victims. I think this is partially why admitting what we've done wrong can be an effective brand strategy: Folks can intuitively sense that we're genuine and not malignant narcs because narcs are too unconsciously insecure and lacking in self-awareness to discuss their faults.

We can't always be perfect but Holy Death will always protect us with her Sacred Scythe.

I'm Not Perfect: Chasing the Dragon

I could continue writing about this instructive, extremely useful book and other compliance/marketing books I've read like The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, but I know no one (including myself) has an attention span so I'll rein it in but I'm not saying I'm perfect. This blog is kinda negative in that I am explaining what I've done wrong and right in terms of marketing myself online.

I also haven't removed a few "negative" blogs (like the one about Protonmail and how it sucks) and social media posts because, fuck it. I'm not perfect.

I'm also not saying that all the Negative Nancy's on Twitter who bitch constantly and post "negative spicy hot takes" aren't moderately successful at times. I can't get away with that in a hyper-saturated market like NYC although I have been known to make posts like that when especially annoyed by something. I am, however, limiting this behavior going forward.

Hey, there are probably not that many providers in Kansas City, MO and we can be nuts online and still make some money if we're reasonably attractive and rein in our crazy a bit during sessions. However, I don't think a lot of these folks realize that they could be more successful if they quit tweeting 20 times a day about whatever pissed them off. It also, in my opinion, shows a lack of self-control, instability and low character to spend that much time broadcasting on Twitter... but that's just me.

I know what it is to chase the dragon of Twitter/X engagement because, when I was so disabled I couldn't walk and hadn't found a Higher Power in Nature/physical movement, it was very addicting to be on Twitter/X. I started when the pandemic was forcing many folks onto their phones. It spikes those feel-good brain chemicals when people engage with us online and folks with health conditions, who can't really move around, can be more susceptible to it.

Please, for the love of Santa Muerte, don't forget to hit like on my Twitter/X and Bluesky posts promoting this blog so others can find it. If I helped you in any way, don't silently lurk and suck up all the free, amazing, remarkable-beyond-words prosperity-inducing info I'm conveying. It makes me very happy to know that someone is reading and, at a minimum, being entertained by my unsolicited, moderately neurodivergent advice.