The Problem With VoIP "Text Apps": How to Stay Paid and Private
- Rose B
- 16 hours ago
- 11 min read
Many of the SWers I know are unwittingly screwing themselves out of income by using anonymous VoIP "burner" text app phone numbers to communicate with admirers. Our admirers also use these services, like Burner, Hushed, Sideline and TextNow. Quite a few dudes are wondering why that lovely provider never texted them back.
She did.
My dudes simply didn't receive a text back because VoIP numbers don't necessarily have the quality and business incentives to work 100% of the time, resulting in "dropped texts." We'll think we've texted someone but they didn't receive the text and we wouldn't necessarily know about this issue unless we've been using text apps frequently for years.
Most of the time, a "real phone number" can be traced back to a person's legal name which poses a privacy risk for providers so we use these "burner" text apps in order to stay safe. I, of course, figured out a hack that will allow folks to obtain a phone number that isn't linked to their name/address.
As with all my life hacks, I discovered it accidentally, while having a mental breakdown in a no-contract phone store after being hacked by another SW but we'll tell that juicy story in just a minute. (It's not a Rose B blog if I don't somehow relate the story back to this situation, now is it?)
Thank you to the extremely knowledgeable and kind Violet Rollergirl for explaining why VoIP text app numbers don't always work. These services lack the incentives to properly deliver texts 100% of the time which, as she says, isn't a big deal for civilians but, "For us, it matters a lot because it's a business line... That's just not how most of these services expect their customers to use their texting app service. So it's a mismatch of expectations."
I'll be linking Violet's guide explaining how to message folks discreetly at the end of this post. You need some incentive to read it, right?
Are You There??? I've Been Texting You!
"I've been sitting in the lobby for 5 minutes! Are you there??? I've been texting you!"
I received this frantic email from an admirer whom I had assumed was an exceedingly rare "no call no show" for his session. We were supposed to meet at 5pm and it was 5:10pm. When I opened up my paid text app, I hadn't received any texts from him since we confirmed our date at 10am, despite his later claims that he'd texted me repeatedly as he was heading to me.
Lurking around an incall lobby/front door is most definitely not discreet and I cringed internally, cursing the shitty text apps of the world that had resulted in countless missed connections with admirers. Over the 10+ years I'd been using text apps, a handful of admirers have emailed me asking why I didn't respond to their texts, but most people have too much pride to do this so we wouldn't know that we were losing out on business.
If someone doesn't respond to our text, a lot of us think, "Fine. Be that way... Wait, what did I do wrong?" and won't contact the person further for fear of being seen as a nuisance.
There have also been times where an admirer didn't respond to my VoIP text so, because I enjoy being a nuisance, I used a different phone number (or email) to contact them and they responded, saying they didn't get my text.
Back when I was using a VoIP #, I actually texted a regular client, "Why are you ignoring me?" 😂
I knew he really liked me, wasn't in a relationship (so I wasn't blowing up his spot) and if he was ignoring me, it was probably a fluke. He responded with, "I'm not. I didn't get your text."
Oops.
You really can obtain the genuine girlfriend experience with me. Someone alert Steven Soderbergh and cast the redheaded version of Sasha Grey to monotonously play an emotionally involved escort. (Watch the horrible film The Girlfriend Experience to get the joke.)
Text Apps Will Cost Us, Eventually
I've explained the problems with text apps and ProtonMail to quite a few SWers and interestingly enough, they keep on using VoIP numbers and ProtonMail. I get it, because I was (and still kind of am) the same way: Until it's brought to our attention multiple times, we won't care and won't think it applies to us. It can also be a hassle(hoff) and bad for business to get a new phone number or email address.
I still have a Proton email listed on my website because I've changed my email address a few times and it's a bit sketch for me to keep changing it. I use a non-ProtonMail email address to respond to folks who've emailed me (unless they also use ProtonMail) because I'm not losing anymore clients due to disappeared emails or emails that go to spam on both ends.
Why Don't VoIP Text Apps Work?
Allow the extremely intelligent technology expert Violet Rollergirl to explain, "Most free or low cost text services are bad for the same reason most low cost services that require specialized knowledge and skill and dedication are bad: The provider of the service doesn't actually put any effort into providing a good service... They are interfacing with a complex, heterogenous network infrastructure that may or may not require a lot of translation for delivery from one phone app to another. In between, there are numerous hops across any number of varied networks and systems, including different phone operating systems, different carrier networks (GSM, CDMA radio towers), each of which use software and hardware that may be shipped with various levels of care and quality."
She explains how text apps are unencrypted, meaning the texts are getting filtered at numerous steps and certain words or phrases are censored but there is no error message that's sent out. This issue is especially impactful for SWers. We won't know if our texts aren't delivered.
My Conspiracy Theories
This text app issue is similar to the ProtonMail situation I wrote about in a prior blog post. We have no way of knowing how many of our emails (or texts) aren't being received by our clients and vice versa.
You can read about my ProtonMail conspiracy theory in that blog post, but basically, it's not illogical to conclude that major email services like Gmail and Yahoo purposely send some Proton emails to spam (or disappear the email entirely into the cyber void) due to big tech's love of surveillance and them not wanting us to use encrypted email services. PayPal froze Proton's account when they were a newer company over concerns that encrypted email was illegal, that's how badly the Powers That Be want to continue mining our data.
It's assumed by the mainstream that folks who are using encrypted services, like Proton and Signal, to communicate are criminals, so that may be another reason why major email services send some Proton emails to spam.
Do I think that's part of the reason why text apps don't work at times? If I'm texting someone who's using a "real" phone number through Verizon and the text isn't delivered (but I think it's being delivered because there's no error message on my end), is this partially due to Verizon discriminating against text apps because they're frequently used by bad actors and SWers? There's no way to know.
Text Apps Will Ban Us
Back in the day, when text apps were new, I had never heard of anyone being banned from them but this is an extremely common experience for providers today as censorship and surveillance increase in the Real World 1984. These text apps are using algorithms to determine if we used the word "incall" too many times and if we trigger their invisible "This Person Is a SW Censor," we're banned from the app. One of my phones can't download text apps at all, that's how banned I am.
Google Voice recently banned me and I lost out on a client due to them not sending my texts to him and vice versa prior to the ban. According to the other providers I've spoken with, GV will stop sending certain texts about a month before they ban us. Thankfully, I'm very intuitive and just knew that my GV # (that I'd had for years) was about to be banned so I recorded any important phone numbers. When banned from GV, there's no way to access your contacts or conversations.
GV is the best text app in that, as far as I know, they don't drop texts (aside from the period before they ban an account) but they also seriously suck because they ban more SWers than any other app, in my anecdotal experience. They have really been ramping up their banning of providers and if your number is publicly listed on SW sites, don't expect to have it forever. It took maybe two years for them to ban me.
What's the Solution?
There are a few solutions and the best would be to use Signal to communicate as it's the most private, encrypted messaging service but you shouldn't listen to me: Read Violet's "Discreet Messaging Guide" that I'll link at the end of this post. We can hide our real phone numbers on Signal and therefore aren't outing ourselves when using it.
However, requiring that admirers download Signal in order to message me puts a boundary in between myself and folks contacting me, something that's cost me clients in the past. Most marketing folks will tell you: Make it as easy as possible to contact you. Put your email address and phone number on each page of your website.
I wrote an entire blog ranting about how having a phone number that I listed publicly on my ads didn't make me much money (and was going email only) but totally changed my mind after an especially prosperous tour. I'd listed a phone number and quite a few respectful, generous guys had texted me for last minute sessions and it felt as though they wouldn't have emailed me.
Yes, the trolls and unwell folks who text us in order to get some sick gratification from wasting our time can... waste our time and, as I explain in the blog, deplete energy but, IDK, it doesn't really bother me anymore and I'm a fan of increasing, not depleting, my prosperity.
There's also a brand new anonymous phone service called Phreeli that was created by a privacy advocate! All we'll need to sign up is our zip code and payments can be made with crypto. They've also figured out how to accept anonymous credit card payments!
Why would I want to be giving my legal name (and possibly whatever address is associated with that name) to everyone who has my phone number? That's how we attract stalkers and bad actors. Additionally, every business that has my phone number now has my personal information and can sell it to data brokers.
If you don't want to use Signal or Phreeli, I discovered a little hack you may be interested in but it'll require a little finesse, which I know all providers have in spades...
How to Obtain an Anonymous Phone Number: "I Have a Stalker!"
You have to admit, the way I can mention this traumatizing-yet-beneficial incident involving a well documented serial harasser/stalker/unwell individual in 90% of my blog posts is a skill.
Who knew that one of the worst moments of my life would lead to my inadvertently discovering how to get a real, non-text app phone number that's not associated with my IRL identity? As usual, everything that we think hurts us can be utilized to help us grow.
After an unwell individual from Twitter hacked my personal phone, I ran into the no-contract phone store while crashing out, frantically exclaiming, "There is a psycho demon stalker cunt who hacked my phone because I said something on Twitter that made her feel insecure. I need a new phone and you cannot put it under my legal name!"
There was probably more that I said, because I was genuinely having a freak out and the store clerk could tell that I was not ok.
After one of the Twitter hacker's other victims showed me her insane criminal/civil history of IRL and online harassment/defamation (because she outed herself as a SW while failing to get clout off a celebrity by lying about him to trashy news outlets), I realized that I had a stalker for life. This woman has an ongoing, criminally, civilly and very publicly documented history of harassing folks, starting websites to defame them and more in a totally batshit, utterly obsessive manner. A civilian real estate agent recently sued this escort (and won) for intentional misconduct (harassment) due to the numerous lies the escort told about this real estate agent and her business on social media pages and websites.
If I was a dash pettier, I would attach screenshots from the Way Back Machine featuring the website this SW stalker created using one of her victim's legal names and obsessively defaming her. She even joked on the website about the fact that this woman was suing her, claiming she was exercising her "freedom of speech" by relentlessly, compulsively doxing his woman and lying about her/her business while playing the victim.
Every time someone googled this real estate agent, the stalker's nutty websites, Twitter and Reddit pages popped up.
Yeah, I'd say that has real life effects on someone's business, finances, relationships and mental health. Anyone, myself included, who's been a victim of this (literally) cursed nutjob knows how online abuse/lies/stalkers have IRL effects but unfortunately, the criminal justice system hasn't caught up yet and one can only civilly sue someone who does this (which is not cheap and is a huge waste of money if you're suing a broke individual like this stalker.)
I knew that I could not have a phone attached to my legal name.
BTW, nothing bad came of the hack because this predator can only see her victim's phone screen (not access files).
The lady at the store looked at me with compassion after I told her about my situation and said, "Ok, I just need you to show me your ID for the camera and I can put the phone under someone else's name,"
Baby, I got so lucky! Haha! The Ginger Minge wins every time.
Could other people get away with this? Yes. You'd probably have to slip the store clerk a $100 but in my opinion, it's worth it to not give your dox to everyone who has your phone number. Do you want, for example, folks on dating apps to have your real name? What about that dude from the gym or the guy you met at a bar? Addresses, net worth, email addresses, social medias, family names, family addresses, family email addresses (and social medias) and more can be found via just a phone number.
This nutty woman from Twitter began following my family members on social media and harassing them with only access to my legal name (that was given to her by her escort-cum-faux-research-immunologist-associate-in-doxing-harassment-and-sociopathy.) Her abuses of myself and other providers (while defaming folks and playing the victim) go far, far deeper than we have time to discuss in this blog but suffice to say that we should be very careful when it comes to who we give our names to.
I had no idea how much information a highly mentally, emotionally and spiritually deficient escort could obtain with just a few bits of personal information. Stalking people, lying about them and harming people (while playing the victim in order to garner attention) is a hobby to some people.
People do not have empathy for situations unless they themselves experience them so I don't know how many people will be swayed by my story. It would make me very, very happy if someone reading this began caring more about their privacy and obtained a Phreeli anonymous phone number or finessed a Cricket Wireless employee. (It's way easier to just go with Phreeli but they didn't exist when I began writing this piece.)
Please read Violet's guide to discreet messaging here! By the way, she in no way endorses any of the details mentioned in this blog or my finessing of phone store employees and is merely a wonderful resource for all things tech.
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