Why Are So Many S*x Workers "Weirdos"?

When we glance at a SWer's ads, website, and social media, they may seem suave, smooth and seductive while lithely posing, nips ablazing in that sheer, glamorously overpriced Honey Birdette lingerie set.

Their hair is perfect.

Their "look" is perfectly catered to the male gaze.

Their social media is... mostly perfect. (Not talking about myself here.)

Observers would have no idea, based on surface observation, that many SWers are neurodivergent and at a bare minimum, a little "weird" because it's bad for business to appear imperfect or "weak" so many of us don't discuss our differences online or with clients. Men attempt to exploit the weak. Additionally, SWers are generally skilled at masking so differences may not be as glaringly obvious depending on the type of non-neurotypical behavior and cognition that are experienced.

Introversion is also considered to be a bit "weird" because, according to many books, the world is made for extroverts and SW is not a field that we'd assume introverts would engage in. Yet, many of the SWers I know feel exhausted when around other people and can have introverted tendencies. SW is the perfect job for these folks, despite that outsiders may think.

In my somewhat humble experience, a large number of SWers are a bit socially awkward and/or different in the ways that we show up in the world, but that's not the stereotype perpetuated by the mainstream or SWers ourselves. SWers have a vested interest in admirers thinking that we're superhuman, infallible, "perfect" Gods and Goddesses because imperfection doesn't really sell and being different is seen a weakness.

Clients are seeking a solution to their problems when they buy a product or service and loudly advertising, "I'm just like you! I have challenges when it comes to my cognition, mood and ability to socialize!" is not as sexy as, "Book me because I'll show you how to human. I'll be your emotional support stuffie. Follow me, I'm a know-it-all and can guide you on your journey."

A totally "normal" human woman.

The Financial Benefits of Perfection

The financial benefits of painting ourselves as perfect (and non-"awkward" and/or neurodivergent) are obvious to most of us and well explained by marketing and branding experts. According to one of the most respected and useful books on advertising, Building a Story Brand 2.0 by Donald Miller, the most effective businesses don't talk about themselves and certainly don't mention anything that could be perceived by customers to be a weakness.

Miller gives the branding example of Apple and their early, less effective advertising featuring information about the product itself and technical specifications that only 5 nerds actually cared about. Apple later switched up their marketing campaign, stopped discussing themselves/product specs and began featuring eye catching images with taglines likes, "A thousand songs in your pocket" and "Shot on iPhone."

These advertising campaigns shifted the focus from the product itself to the ways in which Apple products supposedly benefited (guided) our lives. Miller explains how the most effective brands position themselves as Yoda-like guides that center their customers, not themselves. Why do you think I pretend like I'm this corporate, blazer-wearing, Ann Taylor loving, in-control Mommy/authority when I barely know what day it is and dress like I'm in a very weird biker gang when not working?

You'd cross the street if you saw me sashaying aggressively towards you on a darkened Chinatown street while clutching a can of mace and wearing my too-tight red leather biker jacket, Doc's and ripped up baggy jeans. Let's put it that way.

Wait, you'd love that. NVM. Ugh, some of us are just so hot, no matter what we do, people want to f*ck us.

Are there empirical studies on the prevalence neurodivergence and introversion within SW populations? Of course not. Society loves to obsess about us and (painfully, inaccurately) features us in all their films, TV shows and documentaries yet the sex-negative whorephobia perpetuated by The Powers That Be leads to the mainstream not caring enough to research SW beyond the stereotypical "Do they have STD's? Are they on meth?" Additionally, it's very difficult to obtain information on a criminalized, stigmatized population.

There is no real way to know how many SWers are neurodivergent or "disabled" in any way.

(Defining myself as disabled doesn't benefit me and is negative so I try to not do it but it does express that fact that the differently-abled person lives life on an uneven playing field and should be given accommodations. Additionally, what is "divergent" if an increasing number of people live non-neurotypical lives? Neurodivergence is very difficult to diagnose so myself and other smart ass mofos don't believe statistics on things like ADHD prevalence. If one doesn't seek a diagnosis, one will generally not obtain it.)

Keep in mind that I am biased because I'm a big f*cking weirdo who is generally only understood (and in contact with) other "unique" SWers. The normies bore me and I don't obsess about the same things they obsess about, like consumption, plastic surgery and becoming a landlord. People who fit in confuse me and I probably confuse them; We don't generally mesh well and I may or may not hold resentments against the fact that they can't comprehend how privileged they are.

My communication style may piss them off because they don't understand it.

However, I don't think my bias is the only thing at play here because of the reasons I will delineate in this piece. This sexy work is, by it's very nature, attractive to (or the only option for) those of us who find it extremely difficult to labor in socially accepted fields.

Norma Wallace, professional badass, at her grand jury appearance.

SW is Isolating

Most civilians don't realize that non-strip club, non-br0thel SW is extremely isolating and highly attractive to those of us who sometimes hate people/are energetically gifted and/or are easily overstimulated. We have a super power: We're highly sensitive to energy, which can be a curse if we don't know how to shield ourselves via certain energetic techniques that aren't understood by the materialist paradigm. (Yes, I'm on my witchy shit again.)

The Last Madame exemplifies the version of SW that most folks understand: a bustling, crowded experience that favors super socially aware and outgoing folks. Norma Wallace, the most infamous and powerful bordello owner ever to exist in New Orleans, hustled her way up from a street worker via social skill and awareness. She knew exactly how to manipulate and was always twenty steps ahead, playing 4D chess with her tricks, her girls, politicians, mobsters, and the cops. Of course, a little Louisiana Voodoo (magic) played an integral role in her unlikely and exceptional success.

She began her career as a down-and-out street worker who gained clients, in part, via cat calling them as they wandered around a seedy part of New Orleans and her success depended on her outgoing social dexterity and in-person communication skill. This sort of SW is alive and well today but many of us don't find clients this way. Yet, the media seems to portray SWers as more desperate street workers.

Civilians don't get it: Most of the work I'm putting in is cerebral marketing that is accomplished from behind a computer screen. The main reasons why clients book me is my professional (self made) website, blogs, imagery, social media and extremely strategic ad copy.

When I didn't have a nice website, I didn't work.

When I wasn't effective at marketing online and didn't understand ad sites, I didn't work.

When I didn't dedicate too much time to social media, I made less money.

When I didn't blog, I made a lot less money.

When I didn't intelligently plan my tours, I made less money.

A large chunk of provider time is spent replying to texts and emails, bumping ads, and doing work that doesn't require us to interact with other humans IRL. There's really nothing more to say about that. Unless we're freestyling in public or working at a club, we don't have to deal with people all the time so this type of online work is highly attractive to "non-normies."

(What is normal nowadays?)

She's an office worker just like you.

Masking For 9 Hours a Day Is Torture

Folks who are on the spectrum, are a bit introverted or have focusing disorders may simply find civ jobs to be genuinely untenable/traumatizing. We may be willing to take on the stigma associated with SW because our other options feel like torture. Sure, we could torment ourselves fake smiling at an office for 9 hours a day while masking everything about ourselves. Yet, it's easier for us to hide out behind a computer screen/phone for most of the day, away from office hellscapes, than it would be to exhaust ourselves by faking it constantly.

Sure, many jobs today are work-from-home but those folks still have to focus for 9 hours a day and constantly interact with others via Zoom calls. There's also little to no freedom compared to SW. Additionally, most civ work isn't fully remote and remote work is only something more privileged individuals can engage in.

This is what the normies generally don't understand: We prefer to engage in risky, stigmatizing, criminalized and difficult work for three hours a day if it means we don't have to mask for nine hours a day (minus commute time on the NYC subway system, it's own hell) and interminably labor for someone else. Masking for a just few hours a day around one person isn't all that bad, especially when we feel a sense of freedom.

I can also let my mask slip around the right admirer.

Sorta.

(Not really. Not at all.)

If a person is introverted, their enjoyable employment options are more limited and of course, they could become a coder or do some sort of civ job that doesn't require them to be outgoing sales people (as many folks do). However, folks supplement their income with SW and it's especially appealing to more introverted individuals because certain genres of SW are (generally) one-on-one. Energetically sensitive and/or introverted folks may find this sort of one-on-one social interaction to be far less exhausting compared to social interaction (and work) at an office, hospital, retail store, restaurant or location where workers deal with many people during the working day.

Folks who are awkward or neurodivergent may lose jobs because they don't fit in. They end up doing SW not so much because it's a choice but because it's a necessity.

Many Clients Love Our Weirdness

Many clients are different and/or don't "fit in" and would prefer to see someone who understands their struggles and won't judge them. It's extremely obvious to me when an admirer is, for example, struggling with focusing issues and I cut them a lot of slack. It won't be obvious until we meet, by the way, and it's something I can intuitively sense. The same goes for those who are on the spectrum. I have empathy for these admirers when other providers can't.

Rich people don't have empathy for poor people unless they've been poor.

Able-bodied people don't have empathy for people with health conditions until they get sick.

Non-neurotypical providers will never be able to fully empathize with admirers who are "different" in that way.

We Are People, Not Diagnoses

These terms (like "awkward") are being used loosely in this blog and a bit interchangeably for simplicity's sake despite my awareness that they aren't necessarily the same or interrelated.

Additionally, diagnoses can be shifted and are not fully "real" in that they are part of a generalized narrative society has constructed. "Oh, well, someone told me I am depressed and I have it. I am depression. Therefore I must take these chemicals for the rest of my life. I am this set of criteria created by the (mostly) out-of-touch white men who created the DSM-V."

The Western Medical Industrial Complex functions by keeping us diagnosed, "sick," and numbed out/reliant on chemical substances. Defining myself by what someone told me I am (after talking to me for an hour with an incentive to sell me pharmaceuticals) never benefitted my life.

On the other hand, having some awareness of our differences when it comes to energetic sensitivity, communication, focus and perception can be useful. Pills have their place. As with everything in life, diagnoses are a paradox. This is a nuanced topic and I don't have all the answers, shockingly.

Let's Admit It: We Are Privileged

Folks who are more severely neurodivergent may find it difficult to survive as SWers. Most SWers are able to mask in a highly effective manner and not everyone is able to do this. We have to admit our privilege here: If we're successful SWers and struggle with social interaction, it may not be obvious.

I'm so skilled at mimicking normies that they generally assume I'm one of them until they get to know me/I let my guard down and start ranting about AI, Big Brother, supplements/herbs, microplastics and, as my brother-in-law recently noted, appear a lil "red pilled" (in a non-right wing way.) Yes, I'm awake and don't see that as a bad thing.

Or, if I'm not endlessly talking about shit only the "awakened" care about, I totally shut down all social interaction and go so deep inside my thought processes and it becomes painful to communicate with others.

It takes work for me to prepare for sessions but at least I can prepare for them, you know what I'm saying? I'm not so unaware that I turn off all clients. Just a few. I swear. And when I lose them due to my personality and unique communication style, I endlessly beat myself up but that's not something we should be talking about, now is it?

The Silence is a gift.

We're Meant to Be Alone

Those of us who are meant to be messengers and storytellers may be more introverted/purposely isolated IRL because it forces us to write, draw or engage in our passions in order to be heard. My "weirdness" does mean I'm misunderstood by a lot of people. I don't have (nor do I want) a ton of people in my life so if I want to be expressed, I have to blog (or write something).

People have ask me, "How do you have the energy to blog?"

How could I not? How do you have the energy to breathe? Some of us don't mind if our writing (or passion) turns certain people off because it's something we must do and we know the universe will always take care of us for doing so. If I am thinking to myself, "How can I make money via writing?" then I won't write. I have written a few "Let's sell ourselves as a product" blogs (the observant will know which posts I'm referring to) and they were painful to publish.

What a weirdo. Ha! Sprinkle sprinkle my fae dust all over ya'll.

"Freaks" Rule the World

The greatest thinkers, philosophers, writers, painters and whatever of all time didn't fit in: Think Warhol, Basquiat, and Frida Kahlo. People remember them because they have unique ideas (that are constructive) and the worst thing, in my opinion, is to be unmemorable. Love us or hate what we represent, we have your most valuable commodity: Your attention. For example, I purposely write in a colloquial manner because it's memorable and non-AI/relatable to other humans.

This is on purpose.

Wait, you thought I didn't know what I was doing?

Ha!

JK JK JK

If you process in "different" ways, tell me about your experience as a SW! Your support and understanding are priceless to me. I genuinely want to connect with you and cherish those of you who have read my "pieces."

(We're referring to them as "pieces" now because why not? It sounds better than blog. The mainstream media shouldn't be the only ones who use grandiose terminology when describing themselves.)

Bam.